Fun with Phone Scammers

I'm starting to gain some momentum in the book. I know revisions will be needed, especially on the beginning, as it takes some time to get back in the swing of it. But I met my word count goal for the day yesterday, as well as my time spent writing goal. I don't know how well I'll do today, as it's a choir day, but I don't have to teach tonight because it's a children's service instead, so I don't have to do lesson plans and I don't have to be there as early.

My writing progress might be even better if it weren't constantly interrupted by scam phone calls. The "Windows Technical Support" guys have been really busy the last couple of days, with me getting multiple calls per day. Even if it weren't a well-known scam that's been written about in newspapers and online, I'd know it had to be a scam because I've never owned a Windows machine. At first, I was just laughing at them, pointing out that I knew it was a scam, then hanging up, but after three calls in one night, I decided to start having fun with them.

First, I put on my sweet Southern little old lady voice and with that "bless your heart" tone said, "I bet your mama is so proud of you for scamming old people like this." It confused him, and he hung up. With the next call, I immediately launched into "Amazing Grace" at full voice, which really confused him. He actually let me get through the whole first verse, going, "Hello? Hello?" I think he thought it was an answering machine. I told him I was praying for his soul, which was in jeopardy because he was scamming people like this. He hung up.

I have several more routines in mind. The game is to make them be the one to hang up, and every second they're on the phone with me, that's one less call they can make to someone else who might not be aware of what's going on.

If I do "Amazing Grace" again, I think I need to do it in a higher key. I was in alto range, and there's no point in being a soprano if you can't shred the ears of a phone scammer. And hey, if some of the words sink in and trigger any kind of conscience, so much the better. I'd love to keep these guys from being able to sleep at night.

Still, it's annoying when my phone is ringing every half hour or so. Even if I had Caller ID and didn't answer, the ring of the phone is distracting. I guess I could turn off the ringer during writing time. I should let my family know to call my cell during those hours, as I can put it on silent and see who's calling, so it's less of a distraction. I'm actually considering looking into getting phones I can link with my cell to use as a household phone (so I don't have to remember to carry the cell from room to room) and ditching the land line because in a few months, I not only will have phone scammers but also political pollsters and "vote for me" calls to contend with. The only problem is that I've had this phone number for more than 20 years, and it would be a pain remembering all the places I'd need to change it.