Thursday, May 16, 2013

Stupid Reporter Tricks

We had a bit of excitement last night with a big batch of storms in the area. I was fortunate to just get a lot of rain and lightning, but southwest of here there were a lot of major tornadoes. I spent the evening watching the coverage and the radar on TV while knitting furiously.

All the network programming was pre-empted for storm coverage, which meant we had an extended episode of Stupid Reporter Tricks. The weather guy was good at giving updates, showing the radar, and telling which areas should be taking shelter. Then they got news crews on the scene in the areas that got hit by the tornadoes, and things got silly. It was still the immediate aftermath, the storm was still ongoing (lots of rain, wind, thunder and lightning). It was dark and power was out. First responders were still trying to get to the affected areas to do house-to-house searches for people trapped in the rubble. No one had much clue about what was going on because everyone other than the first responders was supposed to be staying in shelter, and the first responders were busy. And meanwhile, there were storms still going on throughout the region that people probably needed to be kept updated about. But they still had to do live shots, in spite of having nothing to say. One crew was stuck at a church where they took shelter when they got caught in another wave of storms, and the church people were still there after being caught there during a Bible study when the tornado hit. For lack of anything better to do, the reporter started interviewing people at the church. She asked one lady, "Doesn't it break your heart to see this devastation?"

It's a very good thing I wasn't being interviewed. My snark levels climb off the charts when I'm upset. I probably would have replied with something like, "Objection! Leading the witness." Or maybe, "Well, my house is fine, so actually I'm good." Or perhaps a "What kind of question is that? Where did you go to journalism school? Didn't they teach you to ask open-ended questions instead of getting people to confirm the words you put in their mouths?" Most likely it would have been a scathing, "Seriously?" If anyone being interviewed live ever answered like that, I'd probably start a cult around them. And while we were getting this breaking news that tornado devastation is sad, there was another storm heading right toward me on the radar, and no one was saying anything about how serious it was.

Fortunately, the storms held off for me until after choir, so we got to have our final children's choir program. My kids were beyond adorable, and people seemed to like my crazy choreography. The mom who usually records it hasn't posted a link, so I don't have it to show off, but trust me, kindergarteners attempting a kick line is probably one of the funniest things you'll see all week.

Today, I hope to get started writing what I hope will end up being a short, palate-cleansing project. If it turns into a full novel, I'm doomed.

Tonight, though, is the finale of The Office. I may need tissues because the previous episode got me a little teary-eyed. I will admit that I'm kind of hoping that at some point we'll hear the "Vrorp Vrorp" sound from the parking lot and Nellie will jump up and run outside. (In case you weren't aware, Nellie on The Office is played by Catherine Tate, who played the wonderful Donna on Doctor Who, and Nellie definitely has her Donna moments.) In my head, that's what will happen to her, even if we don't see it.

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