Thursday, May 30, 2013

Diva Moments

I was a total weather weenie last night. A round of storms hit just at the time I needed to leave to go to choir, and I didn't want to drive in the high winds and heavy rain, so I stayed home. We didn't get the hail that some were getting from this storm, but around here it's generally better to play it safe. I made good use of the time and got a lot of writing done on my current project. I just have the final "act" to write. I suspect there will be a lot of rewriting to do when I'm done because the first draft was essentially outlining the story. I may need to create more active scenes and flesh it all out. If I can make myself be diligent today, I could even finish this week.

I got all that done in spite of having a minor diva hissy fit that distracted me for a while. WorldCon is being held in San Antonio this year, in my own state. I bought my membership last year. Back in March, I submitted the information to be a program participant. A month or so ago, they started announcing participants, and in that round it was the big names who were attending. I didn't really expect to be on that list. Yesterday they announced another round of several hundred. I wasn't on that list, and there were people on that list who have fewer credits than I have -- short stories in small press anthologies vs. my list of major publisher novels (and worldwide publication). Not to mention that I've been on programming at two other WorldCons. I didn't make the cut in Reno, but that was on me because I submitted the info too late (though I suspect if I'd been a bigger name they'd have squeezed me in). This time, though, there's no reason why I wouldn't have been on this list, and I even checked my spam folder to make sure I hadn't missed an invitation. I had some qualms about this convention because of some behind-the-scenes stuff that's been going on, but being snubbed like this is making me re-think attending this convention. It's hard to justify the expense to go to just hang out without being a participant. I don't have a lot of diva moments because I think I have a pretty realistic sense of where I fit in the grand scheme of things and possibly even underrate myself (there are things I probably deserve that I don't expect). So if I feel shortchanged or snubbed, it probably really does mean something's wrong. They're saying the list will keep being updated, but not being included yet still feels like a snub because it means I'm on the much lower tier, and that affects my attitude toward the entire convention, which wasn't entirely positive to begin with (I love WorldCon, but there are issues with this particular convention).

But while I was having my "don't they know who I am?" hissy fit, I remembered Seth Godin's blog post for the day, which started: "You're actually not teaching them a lesson, because the people who most need to learn a lesson haven't, and won't. What you're actually doing is diverting yourself from your path as well as ruining your day in a quixotic quest for fairness, fairness you're unlikely to find." I guess that's the annoying thing. Because this is an ad hoc committee that will likely never put on another convention, there's no "they'll regret it when I'm famous" satisfaction. There aren't even a lot of people who might change their minds about attending this convention based on whether or not I'll be there, so me backing out isn't really going to hurt them. I just have to decide whether or not it's worth it to me. Is it worth the time, expense and stress to go to some panels and parties, hang out with friends and maybe do some networking while under the slight stigma of apparently not being considered important enough to be part of the programming, or are there better things I could do for my career with the time and money? Unless the book that's about to be submitted sells quickly and gets put on a faster track to publication, my next release won't be for a couple of years, so there's minimal real promotional opportunity. I'm not even sure how big this convention will be because of the issues going on with it. Maybe it's better to watch safely from Dallas and put that money toward going to the convention in London next year.

I will, however, be at FenCon in October, which has a WorldCon-caliber guest list and which is much more organized. And, yes, I've already been confirmed on programming.

In the meantime, I have more books to write.

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