Monday, March 26, 2007

Non-Rainy Days and Mondays

I had a pretty good weekend that involved lots of quality cocooning time, mixed with some actual going out. My music teacher was in a recital of works by women composers for piano and/or voice, so I went out to that. It was some fascinating material, since most works by women have languished in obscurity. They seemed to mostly be things they wrote to perform for their circle of friends, which usually involved a bunch of famous composers and musicians (since most of the women were married to famous male composers/musicians). You know, that sounds like a really cool social life, getting together with your talented friends to perform music with and for each other. It would make for a more interesting gathering than popping in a DVD. I guess I'd need to find a friend who plays piano and has one, and then I'd have to actually practice my flute and get over my voice stage fright.

And now I'm having a real Monday, though I guess it started on Sunday afternoon, with a weird kind of melancholy. I'm not entirely sure what it's about or what the source is. Part of it may have to do with work being kind of in limbo right now, with nothing contracted, so I don't have anything I have to be doing and don't know if I will. I've been playing with something on spec, but I'm kind of dissatisfied with it at the moment (though I think I've figured out what the problem is and how I might be able to fix it). Meanwhile, it's far enough from the release of the last book that it's pretty much over, without a lot of new feedback or results rolling in, yet too far from the release of the next one to have a sense of how it might do. Yeah, limbo is a good word for it. I guess this is when I should get reassurances from my agent, but I've never been the kind of client who needs or wants handholding, and, of course, when I might need it, that's the week my agent is out of town (though she's in New York and meeting with my editor, so I'd rather her be doing that than holding my hand because that has more concrete benefits).

I think the weather has something to do with it, too. For about a week now, it's felt like it was about to storm at any moment, with those big, grey, looming clouds that make the air feel heavy. But due to a variety of atmospheric conditions (that the weekend weather guy loves to get into in great detail, much to the amusement of my anchorman), nothing has happened. That gives a kind of sense of impending doom, like you're constantly on edge, waiting for something to happen, and after a while that makes me feel oppressed and restless, which then escalates what might have been a slight dissatisfaction into a real melancholy. I think one big storm would make everything feel better. It would release a lot of tension.

On top of that, I seem to have messed up my wrist. It turns out that the desk position for my laptop that's most ergonomic for typing probably isn't the best position for doing stuff that involves scrolling and clicking on the trackpad, and without any serious writing work to do, most of what I've been doing is scrolling and clicking.

Fortunately, I'm off to New York on Wednesday where I will get some spoiling from my editor, talk to the PR people to get more specific about what we can do for this next book, then hang with other writers. Plus, swing dancing and a Broadway show. That should be the cure, unless, of course, what comes out of the meeting with my editor is news that they don't want the next book. And then I'll be in a good place for making my troubles go away. And during that whole time, I won't be on a computer, which means my wrist will have a chance to heal.

And, wouldn't you know, the day when I'm dying to discuss the season finale of Battlestar Galactica is when the Television Without Pity forums are down. Arrrgggh! After that episode, I got mildly freaked out when I woke up early this morning and heard fuzzy music that seemed to be coming from the wall. And then I woke up a little more and realized it was my neighbor's clock radio alarm going off at 5 in the frakking morning, loud enough that I could hear it through the wall and with earplugs.

I think today I will focus on housework touch-ups and getting ready for the trip because I really need to stay off the computer as much as possible.

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