Sidetracked

I got sidetracked from working yesterday (probably caused by con brain holdover) with the thought that I really need to go to New York. Well, maybe not "need," because I don't have any meetings I need to make or specific research I need to do. But I could always stand to visit and refresh my research, and I haven't gone for more than about 24 hours in more than six years. And that thought started me down a rabbit trail of hotel searching. That then continued this morning. But hey, I said I was going to be traveling this year.

In other news … I'm starting to see why they needed me for the chorale doing this Requiem. There isn't actually a second soprano part, but there are first and second tenor parts, and there's a tenor shortage, so in those parts, they're moving altos to first tenor and second sopranos to altos, and most of the strong singers are the second sopranos, which means they needed a strong first soprano. So they have me. But I have a bad habit from being in solid choirs of being more of a follower than a leader. I match what's around me, but you can't do that if the people around you aren't quite right, and I tend to assume that if I'm different from the others, I'm wrong. It doesn't help that this isn't my normal choir, so I hesitate to jump out in front and take charge as a leader, and I don't know enough about these other singers to know whether I can assume that I'm right or wrong. The director was really yelling at our section last night, and I had major high school flashbacks to when a teacher would yell at the class and I'd assume he was talking to me and just about kill myself to try to do better when really I was already doing it right and he was yelling at the others but didn't want to single me out. I'm pretty sure I was mostly right and the others were wrong, but I still felt like I was being constantly criticized.

So I've realized that it's going to be on me, so I need to know it really well and be confident. That may help the others with me.

But all this is really making me appreciate my usual director in my choir. This guy has an … unusual directing style. I now know for sure I won't be trying to join this choir on an ongoing basis.

And there's just one more Monday-night rehearsal, then the following Saturday I'll be spending most of the day on this leading up to the performance, and then I'm done. It is pretty music, but the Faure isn't my favorite Requiem.

Now, though, I need to write so I can justify rewarding myself with a vacation/research trip. I'm also contemplating a short trip back to the state park in Oklahoma as a quasi writing retreat/relaxation between books.