All in all, I had a pretty good weekend. My house is kind of clean, I got through my song okay in the concert, the concert was amazing, I had a nice visit with my parents, and I think I know how to fix the ending of the book. All a big yay.
I did have an epiphany of sorts while I was cleaning that then applied to the singing. I have some perfectionist tendencies of the sort that I feel like if I can't be perfect there's no point in trying. So the house becomes a mess because I keep telling myself I need to do a really thorough cleaning and decluttering, and there's no point in just doing a cosmetic cleaning if I'm going to do that thorough thing later, but then I don't have time for the perfect clean-and-sort, so I don't do anything at all, and the place just gets messier. But, really, I'm very happy with slightly cluttered, and it's easier to go from this sort-of clean state to cleaner, and this provides a good starting point for a more thorough, gradual organizing. While I do have slobbish tendencies, I really like having a clean house.
Now I need to tackle the upstairs. That will be more of an adventure, but I can do it gradually. At least now I can even invite a neighbor inside. I say this every time I clean house, but I'm going to try to maintain the good habits to keep it this way.
This also applies to the singing. It wasn't perfect. It wasn't even my best because I suddenly got very nervous. My brain tends to amplify every little flaw so I perceive the whole performance as terrible if I mess up at all, which makes me not want to do that kind of thing. But I heard from a lot of people that it was nice, and Mom told me not to stress because it was good (not just in that Mom loves everything I do way, but in the "really, it was good, so chill" way). Even strangers told me it was nice.
I don't know that this applies to my writing because I'm too prone there for settling for okay and I get impatient and just want it done. I did realize, as part of figuring out the problem, that yet again I'd written something where the main viewpoint character isn't really the "hero" in terms of the story arc. I think that will have something to do with fixing the climax and resolution, and I may have to make the main viewpoint character have a larger role in that. Today should be a good writing day, as the heat broke and there could be rain. I've already taken a walk to the library, so I can settle down and work.
1 comment:
"So the house becomes a mess because I keep telling myself I need to do a really thorough cleaning and decluttering, and there's no point in just doing a cosmetic cleaning if I'm going to do that thorough thing later, but then I don't have time for the perfect clean-and-sort, so I don't do anything at all, and the place just gets messier"
*points to self* Is me.
I've only really put words to it in the past week, really. It applies to work, too. I have ideas for making some processes more efficient, which has ended up in me falling behind in regular upkeep because I'm trying to put these new processes in place, but I have to keep up with the growing amount of incoming data, along with it.
My manager wasn't happy with me Friday about that. I thanked him for the kick in the pants.
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