Monday, November 02, 2009

Halloween Survival Guide

Wow, it's November. When did that happen? (Yeah, I know, yesterday, but it was a rhetorical question.)

I had a fun Halloween at our gang's annual party. The great thing about hanging out with fellow geeks is that you don't need to write a brochure to explain your geek-related costumes. People just get it. This year, my friends and I were Warehouse 13 agents. The clever thing is that meant we pretty much just wore normal clothes but had purple gloves, "Tesla" ray guns and silver artifact collection envelopes. However, the goodies we brought to the party also fit the costumes, as my friend brought a cake that was an artifact -- Julia Child's first cake, which has all kinds of effects if you're brave enough to eat it -- and I brought cookies -- fudge cookies, to further fit the theme. So, here we are in secret agent mode:

We watched an episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000, then we watched a film suitable for that and provided our own commentary. I didn't catch the title of that film, but it was H.P. Lovecraft Meets The 70s and involved a very young Dean Stockwell using Sandra Dee as a book stand in a way that gives a whole new meaning to the term "bibliophile."

From this film, I have developed a series of handy survival tips to ensure that I never get put in the same situation:
Tip #1: Do not go out for drinks with the creepy guy who just tried to steal your library's copy of the Necronomicon.
Tip #2: If you disregard tip #1, when the creepy guy who just tried to steal the Necronomicon just happens to miss the last bus home, do not offer to give him a ride.
Tip #3: If you disregard tips 1 and 2, if the creepy guy lives in a creepy old mansion on a cliff overlooking the sea (and what bus route was that on, anyway?), slow down as you approach his driveway and shove him out of the car. DO NOT go inside with him.
Tip #4: If you disregard all of the above, DO NOT drink anything the creepy guy gives you, especially if there are occult symbols all over the house and his grandfather looks like the "caretaker" in any Scooby Doo cartoon.

If you disregard all of those, you're on your own and have bigger problems than I can help you with. You are probably too stupid to live. I won't even get into why you should be worried that a single man who lives alone with his grandfather in a creepy old mansion on a cliff overlooking the sea happens to have a sheer black nightie in the guest room closet.

And now back to the book revisions. I will not be doing National Novel Writing Month, as I've got at least a week's worth of work to do on this book, and then I really need that vacation before my head explodes.

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