Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Stage Fright

Eeeek! In just a couple of hours I have to sing for my music class. I think I'm prepared, but then last night I suddenly started messing up the beginning of the piece -- the part I used to be most comfortable with. So now I must go practice a little more until I'm sure of it again.

I have no idea where my stage fright issues came from. I just remember always being a little self conscious about people hearing me sing. When they introduced Lorne, the demon who could read your soul when you sang, on Angel, that made total sense to me. There's something so intimate and vulnerable about singing. I can speak in front of any audience with no fear, but put music into the mix, and I panic (I'm the same way with instruments, which isn't good when you play oboe -- a big solo instrument where there's often only one in the entire band). I do have a vague memory of when my brother was a baby and my parents told me it was okay for me to play my records when he was sleeping, but if I sang with the records he'd wake up because he'd respond to my voice, but I don't think that was the trigger for me freaking out if someone could hear me sing because I recall being self-conscious about that long before my brother came along.

I'm just hoping to get through this sounding okay. The teacher wants us to get all emotional and perform, but that may be too much to keep in my head right now. Besides, I'm not a particularly demonstrative or emotional person. To make matters worse, I've got a very Baroque piece, and although it's supposedly all serious and sad, there's just something bouncy about Baroque music. In my head, it always sounds cute and funny, so let's hope there will be no giggles.

So, if you think about it, be thinking good thoughts for me between 2 and 3, Central Time. I have confirmed that at least one person in the class knows CPR in case I keel over. Now, off to practice a few more times.

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