Wednesday, December 09, 2015

If You're in a Holiday Movie

So, after going through the day yesterday unable to start anything that required water, even though I seemed to have water the whole time, I got an e-mail saying they didn't get the repairs done, so we wouldn't have water today. I did about four loads of laundry last night, and I got up this morning and cleaned the bathroom, so I'm not in a crisis situation, but it's still annoying. I haven't checked yet to see whether or not I actually have water. I'm thinking of going shopping just to get out of the house and not have to worry about it, and then I have my last choir session of the year tonight. I don't think I'll try to do any real teaching with the kids. We have to practice our song for Sunday, which will take up most of the time, and then I think we'll sing some Christmas songs and then go caroling to the people setting up for dinner. If I get desperate, we'll get out crayons and make Christmas cards.

I'm continuing my blitz of holiday movies from the DVR, and I've noticed some trends of things to happen in you're in a holiday movie:

There's a good chance you work in a creative profession, or would like to -- if you have a regular job, you're an aspiring painter or photographer in your spare time, but you gave up pursuing your dream professionally because of responsibilities. Or you work at an ad agency. I decided I might as well go with the flow in the one I wrote, in which the heroine is an aspiring singer who works at a public relations agency.

If you're in a relationship, the other person is terribly, horribly wrong for you, to the point that this person could qualify as a villain. But somehow, you don't notice this until you meet the right person and can see the contrast. You seldom figure it out yourself from the mustache twirling and sneering.

If you're a man already in a relationship when you meet Miss Right, you'll know your existing significant other is evil when she starts talking about her plans to totally redecorate your home once you're married. Her plans will always be for something really stark and modern that will require you to get rid of all your cherished family keepsakes. So, basically, if you're dating someone who starts talking about redecorating your place, you should probably run right away and skip the step of someone having to change their mind on the day of the wedding.

If you buy an artificial Christmas tree, you're probably some unholy combination of Scrooge and Satan. You can tell that someone's a good person if they insist on a real tree and prefer the ones that are less than perfect.

Putting work ahead of friends or family is always wrong, no exceptions. It doesn't matter if it's a meeting on which your entire career and the future of your whole company (and the employment of everyone else who works there) hinges, it should  come in lower on your priority list than your niece or nephew's third-grade Christmas program. If you make the wrong choice, you'll probably have to suffer some kind of supernatural intervention to make you learn to be a better person.

You probably have an older person in your life who bears a remarkable resemblance to someone who was really famous and maybe had a hit TV show about 20-30 years ago but who isn't seen much these days.

No comments: